What should have happened
by Preston101
Summary: What I think should have happened to Freddie after 4x07. Oneshot contains adult content please review.


**It was shit that Freddie was killed off. This is my version of what I think should have happened. Please Read and Review x x**

* * *

John sighed. "Anyway, about Elizabeth," he lent forwards and clasped his hands before him. "She's your reason for being here,"  
"Yeah, but what the fuck am I doing in your house?" Freddie asked, confused by the entire situation. Foster merely smiled in response, then calmly continued.  
"Elizabeth and her Mother have expressed... dissatisfaction with my methods - it's perfectly understandable. I am something of a Maverick."  
"You never helped her at all!" Freddie exclaimed, his anger getting the better of him. The reason that Effy was so fucked up sat in front of him and just kept talking like nothing was his fault. "She worse than she ever was now!" He added. The vision of Effy lying in that bed in the Psychiatric Unit filled his head she looked so vulnerable and frightened, he should never have given this freak the satisfaction of coming. But again, Foster paid no attention to Freddie and continued his calm explanation.  
"Anyway, I was hoping to keep working with her, regardless... there are some things I haven't yet tried."

_Is he fucking deaf as well a stupid? _Freddie thought, furiously, every word that came out of this bloke's mouth was making Freddie more and more determined - he was done with Effy. Before another letter could fall from Foster's lips, Freddie interrupted him.  
"Are you deaf?!" He admonished, his protection for his girlfriend building. "Listen. We don't want you - just stay the fuck away!" He ordered, rising from his chair, heading for the door. He was done. John jumped to his feet immediately, blocking Freddie's exit.  
"Indulge me a moment longer!" He insisted. "I admit... I was arrogant, stupid. I made mistakes... I got to close, I feel terrible. I care too much!"

Freddie hesitated, but only for a second. Effy's plea filled his ears: _Make him go away, Freddie. _If she went back to him, who would he make her forget next? Her Mum? Her Dad? Her Brother? Her friends? Him? No. He was done.  
"Stay the fuck away!" He threatened, before heading for the door and making his way up the stairs, he didn't know why, but there was a voice inside his head screaming: _Get out, Freddie! _He was starting to wish he never came. As he climbed, John's voice floated up in the background.  
"I'm too human!"  
_Get the fuck out, Freddie!  
_"We are essentially creatures of instinct. _  
Freddie, get out!"  
_He reached the door and turned the handle, only, the handle wouldn't turn, he tried again and again.  
"Our passing whims are really our finest moments..."  
_FREDDIE!  
_Fear began to build within him, he stopped twisting the door handle, and turned, just as John's silhouette suddenly fell across the wall and as he did so, he realised it was a trap...

"I can't let you have her, I'm afraid." Freddie froze in fear, he was taking one step at a time, as calmly as ever, brandishing a baseball bat in his grasp. "She really does love you, though..."  
"OK... c'mon... just open the door, yeah?..." He stammered, finally finding his voice, he rattled the handle in one last vain attempt of escaping. Then turned back to face his attacker, from the look in Foster's eyes, Freddie could tell he was going to kill him.

Before he knew what was happening, the bat came swinging at his stomach, he tried to dodge it, but it caught his hip, sending him to the floor.  
"Agh!" He yelled out, just as the second blow followed in quick succession, falling painfully upon his shoulder and sending agony through his body. "Get the fuck off me!" The third came as quickly as the first to, but he wasn't pissing about anymore, every swing was aimed at his head. In defence, he brought his hands up the shield his head, leaving his face exposed to the force. There was a sickening crunch, a flash of pain and blood - God, there was so much blood - that squirted everywhere, the walls, the carpet, it even splashed against the glass, then running down his face and staining his clothes. "Get the fuck..." They were the last words of reasoning he wasted his breath on, every blow that hammered down on him, he was on the floor with his arms over his face, dodging them, unsuccessfully, as each hit him painfully... but not fatally.

As hard as he could Foster hurled all his strength into bringing the bat down on Freddie's right shoulder in an attempt to stop him shielding his head, which resulted in a crack and Freddie to scream out in agony as his bone cracked in half, but it didn't work. Tears of pain and fear began to cloud his vision as another flash of pain sharply hit his ribcage. Knowing he had only one last chance to save himself. He shuffled away from another blow, by kicking his way across the floor. The next attack hit his left knee cap, breaking it, automatically. Again he screamed, he had two options: Get the bat or Die trying. Ignoring the agony that ran through his entire body, he caught the bat as it swung against his face one last time and he held on, Foster underestimated Freddie's strength and didn't tighten hid grip, this was all he needed, Freddie pulled, then he shakily threw it at the window opposite the floor he was led on, where it smashed through the glass and fell into the counsellor's back garden. his limp frame slid down the stairs like a rag doll, his body was defeated, broken and disfigured, his will power broken, still semiconscious he let his last sentence fell from his lips before he let the blackness over take him: "I don't want to die," then he lay there, motionless.

John straightened, up and looked from the smashed window to the body beneath him, he chuckled to himself, speechlessly. Part of Freddie reminded him of himself. He descended the stairs towards Freddie and surveyed his lifeless form: He was alive - but only just. What was certain, though, was that he was messed up: His shoulder, knee, nose, some of his fingers all broken. Everywhere was stained with crimson from his blood... the carpet, the door, the glass, the walls, the bat, his own hands, but mostly Freddie. One more blow of something would finish the job... a heavy lamp would do it. But then he'd have a dead body to worry about. It might be easier... there'd be no body... it's not like he could run away, there would just be a teenager, stuck. He then knew what to do, he bent and clutched hold of Freddie's bloodstained shirt and shoulder, then began to drag him back down to the basement, his form slamming against each stair as it went...

* * *

**_"You definitely looked at me this morning, twice. And I just thought, you know, maybe we could get to know each other." He swallowed, waiting for her reaction, briefly looking up and down, taking in her complexion as he did so. She looked up at him with big blue eyes, taking in his floppy fridge falling across his eyes._**  
**_"I look at lots of people." She shrugged, "That doesn't mean I want to 'get to know them'." She added, mimicking his last words, she smirked at him, fuck he was fit.  
She began to walk away, feeling his eyes on her, then paused and turned back._**  
**_"Do you want me to want to get to know you?" She asked, gazing into his eyes._**  
**_" I...er..." he stammered, not expecting the question, she smirked again at him, her body beginning to tingle, as she watched him squirm. Realising he was making a prick of himself he quickly added. "I wouldn't mind."  
..._**

"It's like fucking Alcatraz out there!" Effy's tore her eyes from the garden as she was broken from her trance and she turned from the window to see Cook pressed against her door panting, his hood still up.  
"About time, you meant to be here half an hour ago." She snapped, leaning with her back to the glass.  
"I'm sorry," He replied, sarcastically. "I just got a bit held up 'cos half the nutters in here come with about twenty coppers each!"  
"Whatever," She retorted, "what have you heard?" He lowered his hood, and shook his head in reply.  
"Nothin', I've tried a load of the lads we went to school with, everyone at college, his old girlfriends', I've hung round his Grandad's old folks home, his Auntie's, I even tried the fuckin' hospital, that was just stupid, a copper fuckin' recognised me - no one's heard from or seen Freds."

He collapsed into the chair next to her bed and sighed. "Eff... he's done a runner, there's nothing more to it." She shook her head defiantly.  
"No." She reached over to the table where her phone lay, flicked it open and began scrolling through contents before tossing it at Cook. "He sent me that and he wouldn't, not when he knows I need him... besides, he just wouldn't do a runner - it's not his style."  
"Your right, it's more our style." Cook answered, with an ironic chuckle. As he glanced to the mobile in his grip.

_'THEY'RE ALL WANKERS EFF. DON'T BE FRIGHTENED WE'LL GET THROUGH THIS TOGETHER. LOVE YOU SO MUCH FREDDIE X X'_

"It's so Freddie," He stated, flicking it shut and passing it back to her.  
"I don't care how you do it, Cook, you just need to find him!" Effy insisted, perching on the edge of her bed.  
"Look, Eff, what you and Karen seem to be forgetting is that I'm meant to be on the run, I am a fucking fugitive!"  
"Don't you dare," She snapped. "Don't you fucking dare, you wanker! When you escaped who looked out for you? Freddie. When you had nowhere to go, who gave you somewhere to stay? Freddie. Who fed you? Who kept you fucking safe? Freddie! Now, don't you fucking tell me you're on the run - that's your problem, Cook! Not mine, not Karen's, not Freddie's. Yours!..." She stopped and angrily wiped away the tears that had formed in her eyes and just looked him. "Please, Cook, please..." he stood up and sat next to her on the bed.  
"I'll find him, Eff." He whispered, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her against him, as more tears fell from her eyes and sobs began to rack her body. "I promise... I'll do what ever it fucking takes.

* * *

"How long are you going to keep me here?" Freddie asked.  
"Until you die." That was what he always said.  
Silence ensued for a good twenty minutes as Foster just sat there, watching him.

It been three days. He knew that because he'd watched the sun go down and come back up again three times. He was here, stuck in the house of the bloke who had tried to kill him, but for some reason had decided to keep him a prisoner instead. While he was out of it, Foster had dragged him down to the basement and trapped him by tying his hand above his head with thick rope that was attached to a hammered in hook on the wall. Also, he was a fucking mess: his shoulder, nose, knee cap, a few of his fingers, even some of his ribs were all broken, he'd tried to get out but it was agony whenever he moved, so for the meantime, he decided he had no chance of escaping, so he stayed put. His navy t-shirt stuck to his with sweat and dried blood. He'd pissed himself, he didn't remember doing it, though. But he was conscious, he knew where he was, he knew who he was, he knew he was alive and that was all that mattered.

"How are you feeling, Frederick?" John asked, as he sat in the chair on the opposite side of the room to Freddie, surveying him.  
"Fuck off." He replied, thickly, he wasn't going to play games with him - he never played games. Foster rose from his seat, then squatted in front of Freddie.  
"I said, how are you feeling?" He repeated, calmly, grasping one corner of the rope in his grasp.  
"I said: Fuck off." Freddie stated, glaring into Foster's face.  
"Wrong answer!" He gave the cord a sharp tug, Freddie yelled out in agony as his broken shoulder was pulled even further out of place.  
"So, how are you feeling?"  
"Please..." Freddie begged, his face still contorted in agony. Foster pulled again, harder. This was all that was needed for Freddie's bone to completely separated itself from its socket. The pain was like nothing Freddie had ever experience, it was like a pan of scalding water had been poured over him, only worse, he felt hot tears begin to roll down his face.  
"How are you feeling, Frederick?" John murmured, as he flexed his grip on the cord, menacingly.  
"Shit..." He moaned, pain making his voice weak, "Fucking shit."  
"Better." He dropped his grip and Freddie's body slumped, deflated.

He was furious with himself for crying, he shouldn't have given him the satisfaction. He waited until he had grown used to the pain, before looking up again.  
"Are you thinking about Elizabeth?" Foster queried, in his calm manner as he lent forward and clasped his hands before him.  
"Leave... me... alone," He rasped, every word seeming to hurt him even more.  
"She's thinking of you." He continued, casually. Freddie turned his gaze towards him but said nothing. "Yes, now I have your attention!" He chuckled to himself then continued. "She doesn't think you've run away, she even has James looking for you! She cries for you on a regular basis, too. Shouts out in her sleep. She cried like a baby when she lost your picture, her Mother had to sit with her for almost three hours, it was funny that... it just going missing." Another tear slipped from Freddie's eye and Foster watched with satisfaction. "You don't deserve her."  
"What and you think you do?" Freddie breathed, his vision was blurred but he could catch the piercing blue of Foster's orb. "I might just be a skating junkie who just skates around and smokes weed... who doesn't care about anything other than sex and pot... but I'd sooner die than hurt her!"

Foster swallowed.  
"I haven't hurt her!" He insisted, raising his voice slightly as he started to clench and unclench his grasp. "I wouldn't..."  
"You fucked her up, prick... this'll be killing her... because like it or not, she fucking loves me and I fucking love her... nothing you can do about that... you can try to make her forget her mates, her family... you can try and make her forget me... but you can't erase what she feels... you can't do that with love... it's always gonna be there... tryin' to burst through... and it does in the end... trust me... I know." He slumped back against the wall, glancing at his now deformed shoulder. Foster rose and squatted in front of him, he raised his hand, Freddie flinched, but instead of hitting him, he tapped him on the cheeked a few times before whispering in his ear.  
"You know what, Freddie? I think I will leave you alone for a day or two... maybe three... possibly even four!" With that he stood and left, locking the door behind him. Freddie listened as he climbed the stairs upwards, then turned the kettle on, then a few minutes later, he heard the buzz of the TV and the Top Gear theme tune.

He lent his head back against the cool wall and closed his eyes, he could see Effy's face in the darkness if he focused hard enough, he could feel her... see her... hear her.  
She was stroking his hair out of his eyes, murmuring it was all going to be alright, kissing his neck softly then working up to his lips...  
Of course he thought about her... she was all he thought about. He just wanted to hold her, tell her he was safe, kiss her, just see her. Being with her seemed like another life, too long ago...

**_Freddie lent against the wall with Thomas and JJ, some Black Eyed Peas shit was pumping through out the house, making the pictures on the walls shake as he stood there, taking another swig of his lager, he raised his spliff to his lips and took a long drag blowing out the ring of smoke as he watched Effy and Pandora as they danced, well as Effy danced and Pandora looked like she was trying to swat away a swarm of bees. Effy caught his gaze just as the song changed. He knew that look all to well, after stumping his joint against the wall and leaving his drink on the floor, he sauntered over to her._**

**_The music blasted out, Pandora had gone - probably to cry over Thomas - leaving them in private for the first time since she'd come back, he watched her as they danced, the music her calm eyes met his and the next thing he knew, he'd sealed his mouth over hers, kissing her deeply, his tongue gaining access as she immediately parted her lips for him. Their surroundings seemed to blur, the music to fall silent as they were the only two people in the world. There was a loud thump and then a deafening scream and they immediately broke apart. Cook was on top of some kid beating the shit out of him. Without a word, Effy took hold of his hand, intertwining her fingers with his, and silently led him through the crowd - they weren't getting involved, in fact, they didn't even look back._**

**_The chill night air hit them as they passed through the front door, avoiding the girl throwing up into next door's garden, and they didn't stop until they reached the bridge a few streets away. He pushed her up against the high wall and kissed her, sliding his tongue back into her mouth as he wrapped one arm around her waist, pulling as close to him as he could and his other hand was up her top, underneath her bra as he massaged her tits. She felt electric sparks begin to fill her as she began to ache for him, she lets out a low moan as his ice cold fingers pinched on of her nipples, in responce, ground against his crotch, then reached between them and started to stroke his member through his jeans, making him immediately hard. He broke away from her lips, softly peppering her neck with tender kisses as moans began to escape his own throat. He slipped his hands away from her, moving his lips back towards her own, never once breaking the connection, his hands quickly unbuttoned his jeans and pulled his hard cock out of his boxers. He moved his hands away from his own clothing and moved towards Effy. _**

**_She had her eyes closed, but she knew exactly what was happening, she smirked against his lips, then reached between them once again, beginning to stroke his cock, keeping him upright, knowing exactly where to stroke and squeeze. Freddie slipped his hand up her dress, teasing her through her damp underwear as she became wetter and wetter. She broke away from the kiss and began to moan into his shoulder. pulled down her underwear leaving her pussy exposed to the cold night air as he suddenly forced her against the wall once again, hitching her up off the floor. He sunk two fingers inside her and began finger fucking her as she wrapped her legs around him and held onto his shoulders, her moaning began to get louder as she gasped his name.  
"F...Fred... I... I... need..." She stammered, as she felt herself falling closer and closer to the edge. He knew exactly what she wanted, he pulled his fingers out, then entered her with one deep thrust._**

**_"God... I missed you... so... fucking... much." He panted, pumping in and out of her.  
"I... missed... Oh God, Freddie..." She began moaning louder and louder, her grip beginning to loosen around his neck. Automatically, he tightened his grip on her to stop her sliding down. Suddenly, the tight band in her stomach snapped as her orgasm washed over, sending Freddie over the edge.  
"Oh Fuck..." he gasped, "I'm gonna..." before he could finish, he came deep inside her._**

**_Their breathing returned to normal pace, but instead of dropping her he just held her. His forehead rested against hers, before he gently kissed her forehead and staring into her eyes, everything he'd ever felt for her came rushing back as _****_"I really fucking love you," fell from his lips, as one hand gently stroking her curls. She gazed back at him.  
"I love you too," Freddie lowered her back down and slid out of her as she pulled her lace underwear back up and slipped his limp cock back into his underpants and buttoned up his jeans. She turned, gave him one of her trademarks smirks, and _****_began to walk away from him._**  
**_"C'mon," She ordered.  
_****_"Where?" He asked, following her.  
_****_"My Mum's out with whoever she's out with tonight, that means we'll have the house to ourselves all night. I fucking need you, Freddie." A similar smirk to her's fell from his own lips as he jogged after her as she strode forward. He caught hold of her before she could take another step and pressed his lips against her one final time before whispering. "Do it properly this time, yeah?"  
She just nodded._**

**_"Alright, Anthea?" He asked casually as he strolled down the pathway the next morning. She was climbing from a taxi, looking like she'd been dragged through a bush backwards.  
"F...Freddie..." She replied, staring after him, then to her daughter, who stood in the doorway in just her knickers and t-shirt.  
"What?" Effy asked, defensively, as a reply to her Mother's gaze. She merely shook her head, exasperatedly and walked past her daughter into the house. Before he turned up the road, he glanced back to Effy's door, she was still stood there._**

Now, she seemed another lifetime away, Freddie began to let the tears freely fall as he wept.

* * *

Sometimes, you have to choose between what you want to do and what's right, because a situation can't let you choose both. This is what led Cook to be sat on the grass mound outside Easton Police Station, smoking the last cigarette in his packet, he watched as people went past, totally oblivious to his dilemma and just carrying on with their lives. He stubbed it out against the tree trunk next to him and dropped it in the gutter with the other eleven. He rose and stopped himself from shaking. _I'm Cook!_ he thought, defiantly._ I'm Cook and nothing fucking scares me!_ he chanted inwardly to himself as he pulled up the collar on his old red jacket and made his way across the road.  
"This is for you, Fredster." He muttered to himself as he placed a hand on the outer handle, then pulled. Reception was dark, darker than he remembered. Immediately, he recognised the desk Sergeant, she was the one who had been on duty when they first brought him in. He felt Freddie's notebook burning a hole in his pocket, he needed help and he couldn't do it alone. _You can do this, _He coached inwardly, _Don't be a pussy, do it for Freddie. _He took one step at a time, frightened, then he reached the desk, as soon as she turned, he saw the reckognision on her face.  
"My name's James Cook and I've done a runner from prison," He stated, then added. "I need help."

"Well, well if it isn't the fucking fugitive." Drawled the voice as it entered the interview room.  
"Nice to see you too, Duncan." Cook replied from his chair, a grin on his face.  
"Of all the fucking defendants in Britain, I get you - _again,_" He muttered, sitting down. "You have five minutes, what do you want?"  
"Freddie." Cook said, simply sliding the book towards his lawyer.  
"Who the fuck's Freddie?" He asked, picking up the note book and flicking through it a look of confusion on his face.  
"_Who the fuck's Freddie?" _Cook repeated, "Freddie McClair. Been my best mate since we started Primary School. Kept his family together when his Mum topped herself when he was thirteen. A lad who's got me out of more shit than you can fuckin' imagine! Best guy you would ever meet."  
"Yeah?"  
"He's missing and it's not making any fucking sense!"  
"Tell me."  
"His girlfriend, Effy, she's messed up... in the 'ead, broke up with him, they got back together. Now he's gone."  
"So? He's done a runner, it's common." Duncan stated, dropping the book back on the table.  
"No. It's not right... his stuff... it's not moved. He texted Eff, said he was coming back. He's not answering his phone, not to anyone - not even to his sister! He left a note, it's his handwriting... but it's not his handwriting, like some of the letters are different. Then Karen found that." He concluded, gesturing to the book, then picked it up. "With this..." He began, flicking through until he found the right page. "written in it." He passed it back to Duncan, who looked down onto the scrawled page, filled with: _I love her I love her I love her. _With _JOHN FOSTER WANTS TO HURT HER_, scribbled over the page.  
"Who's John Foster?" He asked, looking from the book to the boy sat before.  
"Effy's counsellor." Cook replied.  
"And Karen is...?"  
"His sister,"

Duncan nodded and sighed.  
"James... what do you want me to do exactly?" He asked. At this point Cook lost it.  
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I WANT YOU TO DO, YOU WANKER?!" He bellowed, springing out his chair, kicking it harshly across the room and then turning back round to furiously facing the man before him.  
"Calm down!" Duncan retorted, also jumping to his feet, completely ignoring him, Cook carried on.  
"YOU DON'T GIVE A TOSS! I'M JUST ANOTHER KID WHO COMES TO YOU AND YOU DON'T GIVE A FUCKING TOSS!" Duncan watched him, saying nothing. "BUT FREDDIE'S A GOOD FUCKING GUY, HE'D HELP ANYONE BUT YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN HELP ME HELP HIM! SO I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I FUCKING WANT YOU TO DO - I WANT YOU TO FIND MY BEST MATE!" He dropped to his knees, tears suddenly erupting in his eyes and shaky sobs racking his body. "I just want you to find him... please... find him... just fucking find him... I need him..." He looked at Cook on the floor and walked over to him squatting and placing a hand on his shoulder. That was when he realised. Lads like James Cook don't hand themselves in, not unless they're desperate...

"James, look at me." He instructed, obediently, Cook raised his head - no longer crying, but tears still rolling down his face. "How much do you want me to find him?"  
"I'd do fucking anything, please."  
"You won't run away when they send you back? No more fucking about?" Cook nodded. "Then I'll find him - dead or alive, I'll find him." There was a moment of silence. "Sit back down." When they were both reseated, he looked at the dishevelled boy before him and gave the instruction: "Get a shower, have a shave, comb your hair and grab a change of clothes - you look like shit." With that, he rose opened the door and left, with Freddie's notebook clutched in his grasp.  
"Thank you." Cook said as he watched the attorney leave, he merely nodded in response.

* * *

**_"We'd be good together - don't you think?" He looked at her, intently, trying to read her. She wanted more than anything to say, 'Yes.'  
_****_"No." She replied, returning his gaze._**  
**_"Why not?" His voice sounded hurt. _**  
**_"Because I'll break your heart." She stated, matter of factly._**  
**_"Maybe I'll break yours," She knew he was joking, that grin was on his face, the one that meant he wasn't serious.  
_****_"Nobody breaks my heart." She said, shaking her head.  
He did._**

"Hi, Effy." The voice brought Effy back to reality and she looked up to see Karen stood above her.  
"Hi," She replied, as Karen sat down on the bench next to her, there was a silence that lasted a few minutes until she added. "Heard anything?"  
Karen shook her head as a response.  
"Cigarette?" Effy offered, holding out the half empty packet.  
"No thanks, should you really be smoking?" She asked. Effy shrugged.  
"What while I'm mental?" Half a smirk flicked across her face as she spoke, before she returned to her sullen state. "I'm not really that bothered."

It took her a few minutes to begin to speak.  
"I don't know why I'm here, to be honest." She said, uncertainly.  
"Where the fuck did being honest ever get anyone?" Effy answered. A smile momentarily flickered across Karen's face until she asked.  
"You heard from Cook?" Effy shook her head.  
"Last I heard, they'd taken him back to prison... but I've not heard anything since."  
Karen nodded. "Me too."  
"So why _are_ you here?" She asked, turning to Karen.

"I... I don't know..." She stammered, "I guess... I guess I just wanted to see what you thought... about Freddie." Effy looked at her.  
"I think it's all fucked up." She answered, then added. "What do you think?"  
"Freddie wouldn't do this. No way." Karen stated, shaking her head.  
"So what do you think?" Effy repeated.  
"Something's wrong." She looked at her. "I _really _miss him, Effy."  
"No more than me,"  
"He's my brother!" Karen insisted.  
"He's my boyfriend!" Effy retaliated.  
"You're such a bitch!"  
"No more than you!"

Another silence ensued.  
"Y'know... after my Mum killed herself... I ran away. The night after she died. I just packed a bag and ran away. But he saw I was gone and he came after me... it took him seven hours to find me... he was thirteen fucking years old and he looked for me for seven fucking hours... he eventually found me in the park and brought me home... Dad was just sat in the living room, staring at Mum's photo. I don't even think he realised we'd gone. Then Fred just sat with me for the rest of the day. All day. Just sat with me." Karen sighed after she finished speaking. "He's not just my brother, Effy... he's more than that." Just as Effy opened her mouth to reply, she was interrupted.  
"Effy Stonem?" Came a voice.  
"Yeah?" She answered, as she and Karen looked up at the man before them.  
"And Karen McClair?" He added.  
"Yeah?"  
"Fantastic, two birds with the same fucking stone. I'm Duncan..." He began, but Effy interrupted him.  
"You're Cook's lawyer? From Court?"  
"Yeah, can I sit down?"  
"Sure,"  
"What's this about - what do you mean 'Two Birds with the same fucking stone?'" Karen demanded as he sat down on the bench opposite them.

"I'm back representing James and he's asked me to find a lad - Freddie McClair?" He began, pulling out a notebook. "Your brother?" He asked to Karen, she nodded. "And your boyfriend?" He directed at Effy, she nodded. "I just wanted to ask you a few questions."

Duncan sat with both girls for an hour, asking them everything about Freddie and just as he stood to leave, he looked at Effy.  
"Is your Counsellor a Dr. John Foster?" Karen looked from the lawyer to Effy.  
"Not anymore, no, I've got a new one... we didn't like him so... I got a new one... anyway, he's quit. Why?" She answered, un-surely.  
"No reason." Duncan lied, dismissively and with that he left.  
"Eff, I'm gonna get goin' as well," Karen said, suddenly. "Look after yourself, yeah? I'll come again. It's been good talking to you." She hugged her, then picked up her bag and followed after the departing man.

Effy glanced after her before looking back out to the bleak gardens. She suddenly began to feel cold and goosebumps erupted across her skin. That was when she heard it, the voice, it wasn't like the ones in her head, that were always there, this was different, it came again and again.  
"Effy! Effy!" She stopped and looked around, half expecting to see someone but no one was there, and she knew the voice - it was Freddie.

"Just wait 'til we're inside." Karen muttered to him, "she's fucking messed up as it is."  
"Whatever you say." He replied, casually.  
"What the fuck has happened to my brother?!" She demanded as soon as they'd reached the car park.  
"I'm not one hundred percent sure... but I can tell you your brother hasn't done a runner."  
Karen just looked at him...

* * *

"Sweetheart, do you want to bring these or leave them here?" Anthea asked her daughter, as she gestured to the magazines on the desk. Effy shrugged.  
"I'm not bothered." She replied, not looking up.  
"OK, leave." Anthea muttered to herself, dropping the pile in the bin, then she looked towards her daughter on her bed. "Are you OK, love?" She asked, moving to sit next to her. Effy nodded in a silent response and looked up at her Mum.  
"I'm fine, Mum." Anthea tittered to herself and wrapped an arm around Effy and kissed her head.  
"Oh, darling." She whispered, resting her head against Effy's. "I know you better than you think and you're so far from fine, it's unbelievable." She took hold of Effy's hand and felt a piece of crumpled paper in her grasp, she pulled it away from her daughter's grasp.  
"Mum, give it back!" She pleaded as Anthea looked down at it, it was the paper swan Freddie had made for her whilst she was in hospital, the words _Love you Forever _were scribbled on in his slanted handwriting.

"Oh, Eff..." She murmured, pulling her daughter even closer towards her. "Let's just get you home and deal with one problem at a time, eh?" Effy nodded, silently and Anthea let go of her and passed her back the paper.  
"The sooner we're packed up, the sooner I can get you home." She insisted, folding one of Effy's vest tops and laying it on top of her other clothing in the suitcase on the floor. "I told them with Tony and I'm telling them with you, you need to be at home, not in hospital. Anyway, the doctors are more messed up than the patients. I drove past that Foster's house the other day on the way here and he saw me and the look he gave me you would have thought he'd murdered someone, then, the cheek, he waved at me." She carried on folding as she spoke, and Effy smiled, wistfully, she carefully placed the swan on top of the photo of Freddie that she'd found at the bottom of her bin, then climbed from the bed in an attempt to help her Mother pack.

"Hello, Anthea," Pandora smiled as she walked in through the back door.  
"Oh... Pandora, hi." Anthea replied, turning around.  
"How's Effy? Is she in? Can I see her?" She asked, in the space of three seconds.  
"She's upstairs, asleep, love. Just be gentle, she's still very delicate." She stated, lighting up a cigarette and blowing out smoke. "Be careful what you say and don't mention Freddie."  
"Okay, thanks Anthea, bye Anthea." Pandora quipped and ran from the room and up the stairs.

"Eff?" She murmured quietly, as she entered the dark bedroom. "Effy?" She looked towards the bed to see her led there, still asleep. She sighed and took a deep breath before shouting. "EFFY!" Effy sprang up, suddenly away, looking around the room bewildered, before seeing Pandora stood at the foot of her bed. "Hi, Eff!" She smiled, waving at her. Effy groaned and lay back down.  
"Hi, Panda." She mumbled, grogilly. "What time is it?"  
"Just past 11." Panda answered, lying next to her. "I really missed you, Eff!" She proclaimed and hugged her.  
"I missed you, too." She replied, as she hugged her back.  
"C'mon, get dressed!" Pandora ordered, jumping from the bed.  
"Have you heard from Freddie?" Effy asked, sitting up and looking at her.  
"Everyone's down at the pub!" She continued, ignoring her.  
"Panda!"  
"No, Eff." She sighed, seeing the desperation on her face. "I'm sorry, no one's heard anything. Your Mum told me not to talk about him."  
"My Mum should keep her nose out of my fucking business!" Effy snapped, leaning over and shaking two pills from a bottle into her hand. "Pass me the water." She directed at Pandora, gesturing to the half empty glass on her table. She swallowed the tablets then looked at her friend and smiled, wistfully. "When did everything get so fucked up?" She asked, and Panda replied.  
"When you went all Lady Gaga on us." Then from the look Effy gave her, she added. "I wasn't meant to answer that, was I?"  
"No,"  
"I'll shut up, now."  
"You do that."

"Look who I found!" Panda beamed as she strode over to the table where Naomi, Katie, Emily, Thomas and JJ were sat.  
"Hi, how are you?" Katie asked, smiling at her as they both sat down.  
"I'm better," Effy replied, as she and Effy sat down.  
"Effy, what tipple do you fancy?" JJ asked, standing up and pulling out his wallet.  
"JJ, you're not even legal." She pointed out and he smiled knowingly.  
"Yes, but my round I buy soft drinks - so cokes all round?"  
"Yeah, go on J, Thomas'll go with you." Naomi answered, giving him a smile.

Not long after, the impending question fell from JJ's lips.  
"Erm, Effy..." He began, looking left and right, then twiddling his thumbs. "I don't suppose, you've..."  
"JJ!" Emily warned and he fell silent.  
"No, JJ." Effy replied, solemnly. "No I haven't heard from him." The group watched as his shoulders sank in dismay.  
"Look!" Katie butted in slamming her drink down on the table. "Does no one else think this is a bit fucked up? I mean, Effy goes back to hospital and he suddenly goes missing? Am I the only one who doesn't think he's done a runner?"  
Silence ensued.  
"No, Katie." Effy answered. "I don't think he has. They might, but it's not him, something's wrong."  
Slowly, one by one, each of them nodded.

* * *

Foster raised the glass to Freddie's lips as he shakily swallowed the water inside it. He rose, placing the now empty glass on the windowsill and sat back down in his usual chair. He sat for a while, watching Freddie. His chest still rose and fell, so in Foster's terms he was fine. But a week of malnourishment and bleeding was leaving Freddie in a worse and worse state each day.

"Do you know who you remind me of?" He asked, Freddie didn't open his eyes or raise his head but rasped.  
"Do you know who you remind me of?"  
"Who?" Foster asked, interested, he lent forward.  
"The guy who organised the holocaust." Freddie answered, opening his eyes and looking at John.  
He chuckled, then ignored him and continued. "That's not funny."  
"It wasn't meant to be."  
"Anyway, you remind me of myself - don't you think?" Freddie shook his head in reply.  
"Why?"  
"Because I'm not a psychopath,"

Foster jumped to his feet knocking over the chair and grabbing hold of Freddie roughly by his shoulders. "I'm not a psychopath!" He bellowed, as Freddie shouted out in pain.  
"Get the fuck off me!" He screamed.  
"What the hell have I done?" Foster shouted at him, "I should have killed you when I had the chance." He stared into Freddie's chocolate eyes, not seeing a frightened child, but the picture of all his problems. There was a pause. "You know what, though? I still have that chance!" He stood up, suddenly, and ripped the heavy wooden lamp away from the wall, the threw the shade to the floor and smashed the bulb against the dresser, leaving sharp glass shards embedded in the wood.  
"You don't deserve to be alive," he murmured, quietly. "You don't deserve Elizabeth... you don't deserve to clothes you wear... you don't deserve the air you breath... you're inferior! Now, any last words?"  
Freddie nodded, he wasn't afraid to die, he had people on both sides, he was only afraid of leaving people alone... leaving Karen - but she had Leo. No, he was afraid to leave Effy - but she had Anthea and Pandora and Tony and all her mates, he needed her, though. But this was one of those situations, he prayed something, anything, to happen, then opened his mouth. "Go to fuck." He murmured.  
"I was going to make this quick." Foster smiled, "but..."

The swung the lamp at Freddie's chest. He was more determined than he was the first time and now he could get direct blows, easily. The strength was like nothing Freddie had ever felt, he gasped, then found he couldn't breath. He was still gasping when the next blow hit his broken knee. He felt plain numb as he struggled for breath. He could feel fragments of glass stuck in his chest, fresh blood pouring out, adding to the old mass. He begged for a miracle Luckily for Freddie McClair - one came...

The scream "Police!" ran through the house and with one last almighty slam, Foster brought the lamp down on Freddie's skull before dropping it to the floor and running from the room right into armed police, lead by Duncan.

He felt the warmth of the blood ooze from his head and run down his neck. He struggled for breath and closed his eyes. Only to hear a voice and gentle slaps on his cheeks.  
"No, c'mon, sweetheart, keep your eyes open - stay awake." He opened his heavy lids to see the blurred image of a woman.  
"Ef...f...y..." He groaned, pleading rather than saying.

India Gardellor took one look at the boy before her and knew he was about to die. She saw beneath the blood he was tanned, probably Italian - like her, she also saw a kid no older than eighteen at a push.  
"It's alright, darling." She murmured, softly, he reminded her of her Adam. She tenderly placed her hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him, but to no avail. He was like a pile of dominos, the additional pressure on his broken shoulder made him groan in pain, the groan made him gasp for breath even more, the movement made his fractured skull vibrate agonisingly against his broken skin. He shouted out in pain, hot tears running down his cheeks. All the while she spoke to him two other paramedics, cut through the thick rope that bound his hands, soon the cord began to fray and cut through.  
"Please don't leave me," he whispered in a barely audible voice.  
"I won't, I promise." She answered, taking hold of his clenched, bloody hand, that friction burns could be thankful for. She looked deep into his watery eyes and asked.  
"Are you Freddie?" He just gave her a look that was a nod.  
"Apparently there are a lot of people looking for you." She just had to keep him awake.  
"Can't... breath." He gasped.  
"Shh..." She soothed, then snapped. "Where the fuck's that mask?!"  
"Tell... Eff..." He closed his eyes.  
"No, Freddie!" She exclaimed, slapping him on the cheek, his lips formed two more words before his head flopped, they were "Love you"

She caught his head just in time, what happened next happened very quickly. An oxygen mask was placed over his mouth and he was lifted onto a stretcher, then carried from his prison to an ambulance then taken to hospital where they ripped his shirt open and removed the broken ribs and glass that had punctured his left lung, then they sewed him back up after he flatlined - twice. After that, they bound his ribs and his skull, not before shaving off his hair, though, removed his broken kneecap and bound up his knee and his shoulder. Finally they sent him to a room where he lay in his comatosed state, waiting.

* * *

Karen lay, still fully dressed, on her brother's bed when her Dad burst into the room, buttoning up his shirt.  
"Karen!" He called, gently shaking her shoulder. She opened her eyes, immediately springing up.  
"What is it? Is it Freddie? Is he home? Have you found him? Oh fuck, he's dead isn't he?!" She demanded, he just looked at her.  
"No, Karen, no. He's not dead. But..." He faltered, his eyes filling with tears. "He's not good." He sat on the edge of his son's bed and tightly wrapped his arm around his daughter. "But there's chance that it's just gonna be us, Kaz. C'mon, we need to get to hospital - now!"

"What the fuck have they done to his hair?" Were the first words that fell from Karen's lips as she and Leo entered her Freddie's room. "Oh fucking hell, Fred." She murmured, sitting in the chair next to his bed and gently stroking his hand as Leo said from the doorway.  
"I'll go find a doctor," his voice was blurred, all that seemed clear was her baby brother lying there half dead.  
"Freddie wake up, you tosser!" She ordered, wiping away tears. "'Cos I need you, Dad needs you - he can't cook. Fuck it, he can barely walk in a straight line most days. Anyway, we can't do this without you. So please, Freds." More tears began to fall. "Please, I fucking love you too much. It's not for you to go, yet. Please, Fred, please. Just wake up! Wake up, Freddie!"

"Karen," she turned as her Dad appeared in the doorway with a doctor.  
"I need to ring Andrea - get her to tell Effy."  
"It's Anthea, love."  
"Whatever," She walked out the room and paused just outside the door, listening.

"He's lucky to be alive," She heard the doctor state. "Another day or another blow to the head and we could be looking at certified brain damage... or certified death. Anyway, surgeons had to shave his head so that they could reach his skin, his skull has a deep fracture to its temporal fossa and he had twenty eight stitches in his scalp, his shoulder has been ripped out of his socket and broken here and here... erm... he's suffered twelve broken ribs, we had to remove three, most likely he'll be fitted with prosthetic ones. His right lung has been punctured..." He continued to list multiple injuries that Freddie had suffered, but Leo interrupted him.  
"Please... I don't want to know how my son was... please. Just..." She heard his voice break as he carried on speaking. "What chance does he have of surviving?"  
"About 30/70."  
"Holy shit..." She heard him murmur, then heard her Dad began to weep.

She walked away from the room, letting tears cloud her vision, the cold wind hit her face where she flicked open her phone and made one of the hardest phone calls of her life.  
"Hello? Is that Mrs Stonem? It's Karen McClair, sorry it's early... but... yeah, we... we've found Freddie... and... well... I just think you need to get Effy to the hospital, he's not good." Without another word, she snapped it close again.

"Effy, sweetheart." Anthea gently shook her daughter's shoulder, as she began to stir. "C'mon, angel, you have to wake up, now."  
"Mum, fuck off..." Effy murmured, still half asleep, then opened her eyes and added. "What? It's three o'clock in the morning."  
"Eff, it's Freddie. Karen's just rung. We need to get to hospital." She shot up, her electric blue eyes filling with fear.  
"Why? What's happened?" She demanded.  
"Darling, all I know is what his sister's told me, just that they've found him, that he's at hospital and just to let us know and say she wanted us there." Effy just stared at her, no words being formed. "C'mon," She urged, gently, pulling back the duvet.  
"Is he gonna die?" She asked, suddenly.  
"Effy, I don't know, she just said to hurry. OK, we'll get dressed and we'll get there and he'll probably have been on his way home, fallen over and cut his finger then rushed to A and E - you know what boys are like!"

She didn't believe her.

Karen didn't know how long it had been, it could have been 5 minutes, it could have been half an hour, it could have been three hours, she just sat by Freddie's bed holding his hand and thinking of every bad thing she had ever said or done to him - burning all his underwear on the day of his first PE lesson at High School probably came first, closely followed by the time she ripped up Barney the bear when he was six because he'd eaten the last Jam Tart or when she stole his shed, there were too many times she'd fucked him over, too many.

Leo didn't stop, he spent his time getting coffee for himself, hot chocolate for Karen, asking doctors about his condition, talking to the police, any excuse not to sit in a chair by his dying son's bed, not when he mirrored the image of his mother, after the first time she tried to kill herself, now his little boy was lying there fighting for his life and he couldn't even look at him.

Every step Effy took down the hospital corridor, the more frightened she became and it was when she and Anthea were directed to ICU that she began to realise the severity of the situation. She could hear her Mum's voice droning away going on about to try and expect the worst possible thing, but other voices in her head were louder, she managed to block them out - for Freddie.  
"Leo!" She heard her Mum exclaimed and snapped her gaze to see her boyfriend's dad at the Coffee Machine.  
"Hi," He replied, he sounded bad.  
"What the fuck's happening?" Effy demanded, instantly. He sighed, lowering the plastic cup onto a table and rubbing his red rimmed eyes.  
"I got a phone call - Police found him, locked in some bloke's house, beaten to a pulp, his head's messed up, lost a lot of blood... apparently they lost him... twice. They're saying if he can make it through tonight, he has a chance." Tears began to escape his eyes as Anthea placed a tender arm on his shoulder  
"Leo - they're more resilient than we give them credit for - they didn't expect my Tony to make it through the night, either, now he's just moved in with his Michelle, Freddie'll be fine." Effy just stood, frozen, not feeling, not speaking, just filled with the need to be with the lad she loved.  
"Where is he?" Was all she managed.  
"Through 'ere." Leo muttered, picking the coffee back up and leading them down the corridor.

Karen still sat there, holding his hand, as she heard the footsteps approach, her Dad, then Effy's Mum, then Effy - she looked like she was about to be sick. Leo paused in the doorway, looking at his comatosed son.  
"I'm going to find a doctor - I can't stand this." He stated, passing the coffee to Karen, then turning away.  
"I'll come with you," Anthea's voice seemed to be the only steady one in the room, she glanced at her daughter, then caught Karen's eye and nodded at her and Karen nodded back - she knew what she meant, then walked after Leo.  
"Fuckin' hell." Effy breathed, still stood there, just staring at her boyfriend. His head had been shaved - they'd done the same with Tony - and it had to same effect it'd had on her brother, he looked smaller, more vulnerable, more frightened, more alone. She slipped into the chair on the other side of his bed and just sat staring at him.

"It's not as bad as it looks..." Karen began, but Effy just looked at her, she felt a loss for words, not knowing what to say.

There were wires, so many fucking wires, he was shirtless, more wires leading down his shattered chest, that was swaddled in bandages. She tried not to look at his head, he hated if anyone, even her, touched his hair - but now there was no hair to touch. The beeping of his heart monitor seemed to be growing louder, but what was worst was his eyes, they wouldn't open, she didn't think she'd ever known his have his eyes closed for longer than a few minutes, he was one of the lightest sleepers she'd ever met.  
"Wake the fuck up, you fucking twat!" She suddenly exclaimed, tears beginning to roll down her cheeks as she clutched his clenched fist, softly stroking it flat, then entwining her fingers with his. "Don't you fucking dare leave me - not now..." She began, but couldn't continue. "Please, Fred... wake up... I need you... I fucking need you, you dick. We've been through to fucking much for you to give up. Please..." Sobs began to rack her body as she cried over her boyfriend's frail frame. Freddie McClair was the only boy that Effy Stonem cried over.

Karen just watched, she reached over and slipped her hand into Effy's, feeling as though it was all she could do.

* * *

With the exception of Pandora, it was rarity that anyone spoke. Pretty much everyone who visited Freddie was shocked.  
When JJ first saw him, Doctors had to sedate him and he was hospitalised for two days.  
Panda wailed.  
Katie for once shut up and went very pale.  
Emily had to go outside and when she did, she threw up.  
Thomas went very quiet, trying, desperately, to avoid looking at his friend.  
Naomi sat in silence, then, when she left, she collapsed, sobbing for her mate.  
Effy barely spoke, she just sat next to Freddie - the only person that mattered to her - holding his hand.  
But they all came back, every one of them.

"Does anyone want a cola bottle?" She asked, offering around her paper bag around the group. There were murmurs of no, then everyone fell quiet again.  
"Why do bad things always happen to good people?" JJ asked, quietly.  
"Just because, J," Emily answered.  
"But that's not an answer!" He protested, standing up and looking desperate. "I just need an answer!"  
"JJ, we don't know an answer!" Naomi broke in, looking at him. "We don't know why it happened to Freddie and not Katie or why it's always good people, no one knows! We don't have a fucking clue!" Looking deflated and on the point of tears, he slid back into his chair.

Freddie had been the same for almost a week - pretty much dead. Effy held onto his hand, gently, softly stroking it, as JJ began to speak again.  
"When we were kids, I used to get really badly locked on." He began, quietly, "worse than I do now, they used to have to stick needles in me to calm me down." By now, everyone was looking at him. He sighed and continued. "Cook never really had the knack to calm me down, he'd just panic... But Freddie... the only thing that did used to calm me down was doing my times tables backwards... now, my Mum's dyslexic and my Dad doesn't give a shit and Cook can't count past twenty three without getting bored, but Freddie used to sit with me for hours going from thirteen to fifty eight and back again. It'd take at least three hours... but he did it so many fucking times."

"Why thirteen to fifty eight?" Effy asked, confused.  
"Because under thirteen's too easy." JJ replied, simply.  
"And why not over fifty eight?" Katie asked, looking towards him.  
"Because Freddie's no boy genius." He shrugged.  
For the first time in nearly a week, they burst into laughter, which was only heightened by Pandora's stating:  
"I don't get it."

"Heart of fucking gold, don't you, wanker." Naomi smiled, as she looked at Freddie and took hold of his other hand and gave it a squeeze, then glanced at her watch and turned to Emily. "C'mon, Ems. We need to get going." She said, standing up.  
"Yeah," She agreed, getting to her. "Call us if anything changes." She directed at Effy.  
Naomi nodded. "Yeah, anything. Bye, guys."  
That was the one good thing to come out of all of this Emily and Naomi were done with all their shit and were back together, but that was the _only_ good thing.

Visiting hours ended, leaving Effy alone after Pandora had gone to find more food because she had the munchies - she always had the fucking munchies.  
"C'mon sexy," she murmured, leaning forward and softly stroking Freddie's cheek. "It's time to wake up." But his eyes remained closed, he remained motionless, he didn't wake up. She replaced his hand back on the covers. "I'm just going to get a drink,"

As she pulled the coffee out from the machine, she heard Karen's voice and looked up to see her with her Dad and a doctor. Karen caught Effy's gaze and motioned for her to come over, confused, she did.  
"What's going on?" She asked, and all three looked at her.  
"And you are?" The doctor asked, skeptically.  
"I was about to say the same thing about you." Effy retorted, defiantly.  
"His girlfriend. His doctor," Leo answered.  
"Then you'll know?" The doctor asked,.  
"Know what?" She replied, blankly.  
"What he takes," Karen explained, simply.

"Exactly." The doctor stated, she thought he was a prick. "Because, we've tried a few things to wake him up and none of them are working, so it's obvious he's been stupid enough to take them now we have to clear up his me...."  
"Watch what you fucking say!" Leo snapped. "That's my boy you're talking about! My critically ill child, because that's what he fucking is - a kid! Yes, he's been stupid, but you have no fucking right to talk about him like that!" Karen grinned at Effy.  
"Right, sorry, so what?"  
"Erm..." Suddenly, her mind went completely blank.  
"C'mon!" He demanded, clicking his pen against the clipboard, impatiently.  
"I've never really thought about it!" She replied.  
"What about on a day to day basis?"  
"Weed,"  
"Weekly?"  
"Erm... LSD, MDMA, Crystal Meth... Speed."  
"What else has he ever taken?"  
She shrugged. "I've only known him for a year."  
"You spend the most time with him!" He shrieked, angrily.  
"Leave her, alone!"  
"It's fine, Leo. Ease... Mushrooms and crack like twice."  
"Ever touched Painkillers?"  
"Not really."  
"Ok... Heroin?"  
"Not personally and neither's Freddie."

Leo buried his head in one hand, whilst Karen looked shocked and Effy herself felt like crying - she never had thought about what they all took.  
"And alcohol wise - what's the worst?" She shrugged.  
"He drank 100% vodka for a dare once,"  
"When?" Like three months ago.  
"Thanks." He said, bluntly, and walked away.

As the doctor walked away, Effy just stood there silently, Leo looked at her and put his hand on her shoulder. "It's alright, love." He muttered, "I'll go see if I can find a nurse." Then he turned and left, Karen just muttered. "Vending machine." Then turned and left.  
Effy was left alone.

When she entered Freddie's room, Panda was back surrounded by crisps and chocolate.  
"I didn't know what to get you." Effy smiled weakly as sat down and took hold of Freddie's hand clammy hand.  
"Please, Freddo, please wake up." She murmured, softly, for what felt like the millionth time.  
He didn't.  
She turned to Panda. "We have to stop, Panda," She whispered, looking at her friend. "It has to stop!"  
"What has to stop, Eff?" Pandora asked, picking up another Kit Kat.  
"Everything... the drugs... the booze... the parties... everything, Panda," Effy sighed as Panda just chewed silently, not knowing what to say.  
"Why, Eff?" She asked, finally.  
"Because they just make life shit." She muttered, resting her head on her arm.  
"And it makes us go Doo Lally like Amy Whinehouse!" She added, a smile on her face.  
"Yes, Pandora, it makes us go Doo Lally like Amy Whinehouse."

She sat up and looked at her boyfriend.  
"I just need him, Panda," She murmured, drawing small circles on his palm with her thumb. "You hear me, tosser?" She muttered to Freddie, "I just can't..." She falterred mid sentence, tears beginning to blur her vision and silently run down her cheeks. She let go of Freddie and wiped her eyes on her sleeve. "I just can't do this on my own," she continued, resting her head against her hand again. Pandora balled up the foil of the chocolate and tossed it in the bin, as she began to devour a packet of crisps, she froze as she noticed Freddie's eyelids begin to twitch. "Y'know, if he dies... I don't think I could do it anymore..."  
"Erm... Eff," She said, desperately, beginning to tap her arm.  
"What?!" She demanded, lifting her head.  
She followed, Panda's gaze just in time to see Freddie's eyes open.

"Oh, shit." She gasped, springing out of her chair and perching on and holding his face softly. "Freds?" He looked at her, his eyes looking tired.  
"Eff..." He murmured. Fresh tears began to roll down her cheeks. "W...water." He rasped.  
"Panda!" She said, turning to her. She sat in her chair, tears rolling down her face. "What now?"  
"I love a happy ending!" She replied.  
"Oh my god." She muttered, exasperatedly. "Pandora give me your drink." She ordered, gesturing to the can. Obediently, Panda passed her the drink. Effy raised it to Freddie's lips and tilted it into his dry mouth. After a few swallows, she passed it back to Panda and gave her the instructions.  
"Go get him a bottle of water from the Vending Machine, bring it back, then go find Karen and Leo and tell them he's woken up. Then ring JJ and Naomi, tell them to tell everyone. Then find a doctor and bring him back, OK?" She nodded and ran from the room. Then ran back in and kissed Freddie on the forehead.  
"I'm glad you're awake, Fredster!" She grinned.  
"Thanks, Panda." He replied, weakly. Then she ran away again.

"You ever do this to me again, I rip your balls off!" She warned and he nodded. "I missed you," she whispered, as tears continued falling down her cheeks. He reached up with his good arm and gently wiped them away with his thumb.  
"It's OK, I'm back." He breathed, cupping her head. She wrapped her arms loosely around his neck and kissed him on the lips.

"Where's my hair gone?" He groaned, quietly. A shaky laugh fell from her, as she felt as though a tight band had been lifted from her as relief began to fill her. His eyes stared into her's. "W...what happened?" He asked, "what happened to Foster?"  
"Don't worry, they locked him up when they found you. You, you bastard, have missed it all, you've spent a week catching up on your fucking beauty sleep!" He smiled at her, whilst then said.  
"Seriously, though, who the fuck shaved my head?"  
"I love you," She whispered, as she held him, never wanting to let go.

* * *

**_'I should have killed you when I got the chance!... You don't deserve her... you're inferior... I was going to make it quick..." _**Freddie sprang up, gasping for breath, a thin layer of sweat covering his entire body. It was the same every night, the same tormenting nightmare. His heartbeat returned to normal pace as he glanced over to Effy sleeping with her back to him.

He decided he needed air, gingerly, he twisted out of the bed and stood up, swaying slightly, he reached for his jeans and then with his only good arm pulled them on and buttoned them up, he grasped the t-shirt that was flung over his chair, he pulled it over his head and pulled on a pair of socks. He reached for his crutches - fuck what his physio said - and with one last glance towards Effy, he hobbled out his bedroom.

It took ten minutes for him to get out his front door, he always found tying his laces the hardest task.  
He latched the door behind himself and began up the street. When he eventually reached the park, he flopped down on the bench and sighed, he pulled his half empty packet of cigarettes out of his pocket and lit one, taking a long drag.  
"Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck," he muttered underneath his breath, as he glanced around the dark and deserted park.

It had been just over a month since he'd woken up and he was getting fed up, for a start, doctors, nurses, his physio, his dad, Karen, pretty much everyone was telling him he was lucky to be alive, what they didn't realise was that he had been unlucky from the start, right from being a baby he had to be the one that had to be hospitalised because his retarded sister dropped him down the fucking stairs.

His birthday had come and gone, it was meant to be the most important but he didn't feel like celebrating, instead his Dad invited his Grandad round and told him it was a family meal with just the four of them, that had been fun(!) The presents had been half decent, though, everyone sent one, even Cook sent him a fag with a letter that read:

**_Happy Birthday Fredster. Buy you a bit stronger when I'm out. Well done for staying alive pussy. Cook.  
_**He didn't know he was done with drugs.  
He'd gone to see him as soon as he was up and about, Cook spent pretty much the whole time calling him a wanker and asking if his Mummy ever told him about going into strange men's houses.

He hadn't really wanted to see anyone since getting out of hospital, he'd only seen family, and his mates from college. He spent pretty much all his time with either Effy or JJ, he'd realised they would've been the people he'd miss most, when JJ came to see him, he stood in the doorway, not sure how to act then ran at him and cried into his shoulder for about an hour. Effy, never left him, she'd done all this shit before, with her brother, he'd done all this shit with her, so now it was his turn. The first few days after he came out of hospital, the only place he could sleep was in the shed, in Effy's arms with the doors locked, now the only way he could sleep is if Effy was with him, she'd never left him, not once.

He'd been told he'd never get some things back, like Skateboarding the doctors had gone on about some shit about how with a broken knee and a broken shoulder he could never retain his balance, what the fuck did the doctor know? He didn't know him. He'd be back on his board my Christmas.

He pulled himself to his feet and began to make his way out the park, as he crossed the road.

Foster's trial was starting next week, being charged with Attempted Murder, Kidnap, Grievous Bodily harm, Actual Bodily Harm the whole package, hopefully the bastard would be locked up where rapists would fuck him multiple times in the ass then beat him over the head with the baseball bat, this happening on a regular basis. Although he didn't want to admit it, he was frightened, the thought of seeing him again made him freak out, but he had to do it, anyway, he didn't have much of a case.

"Where the fuck have you been?!" Demanded a voice as soon as he struggled through the door, he looked up to see Karen sat on the stairs in her pyjamas.  
"Out," he replied, trying to shut the door and nearly falling over in the process.  
"Christ's sake, Freddie," she muttered, coming down, helping her brother out the way then shutting it quietly, before turning back to him a punching him in the stomach.  
"Agh!" He groaned, doubling over. "What was that for?"  
"For walking out the house at two in the morning," She replied, then added. "And have you never heard of a mobile?! I've rung you like twenty times!"  
"I forgot it," he stated, then straightened up grinning, "technically I didn't walk,"  
"Do you want me to knee you?" She threatened, taking another step towards him as he backed away on his crutches.  
"I nearly died and your being horrible!" He said, in a fake hurt voice.  
"Just don't do it again, wanker," she warned. "I was really worried,"  
"Aww, you love me!" He goaded, the grin bigger than ever.  
"Freddie..." Karen began, a half smile breaking across her lips, as she tried to walk past him.  
"You'd miss me!" He continued, moving in front of her every time.  
"Freddie..."  
"You love me!"  
"Frederick Raymond McClair!" She snapped, and he shut up.  
"Karen Usula McClair!" He retaliated, and she shut up.  
"No more embarrassing middle names?" She asked,  
"Deal," He replied and they shook on it.

Then she hugged him tightly, then let him go and ruffled his short hair.  
"Don't do that!" He exclaimed, in a quiet voice.  
"Why not, skinhead? It's not like you have any hair!" She answered, walking up the stairs.  
"I'll have a fringe by Christmas, you watch!" He professed, following her up the stairs.  
"Night, Fred." She whispered with a smile on her face as she waiting until he'd reached the landing.  
"Night," He replied, then added. "Karen?" She paused just before closing her door.  
"What?"  
"How did you even know I'd gone?"  
"What? you think I'd leave my little brother all on his own with a deranged psychopath all night?" She asked, sarcastically, then repeated. "G'night, Freddie." And shut her door behind her.

Freddie opened the door of his own room and lent his crutches against the wall as he began to strip of his clothing leaving him only in his underpants, then limped back to bed and slipped into the covers next to Effy, who now lay on her back, still asleep. He lent on his side and softly traced the scar on her forehead, she murmured slightly, cuddling up against him and he wrapped his arms around her petite frame and kissed the side of her head.

Somehow, he knew everything would be alright, as long as they were together.


End file.
